Persassy is so sassy
by SonofPoseidon747
Summary: How sassy is Persassy: Persassy is so sassy the people not as sassy wish they could have an amount of sass that is the level of sass that belongs to Persassy. One shot, but I might add a few chapters if you review enough. (Disclaimer: Characters belong to Rick Riordan.)
1. Chapter 1

Persassy is so sassy

 **Annabeth Pov (#1)**

We were all sitting at the Poseidon table. By we I mean me, Percy, Jason, Thalia, Nico, Clarisse, the Stoles, Katie, and Leo. (He isn't in love, _yet._ ) At first, when we used to do this, Chiron used to give us disapproving looks, but we did it so much he doesn't care anymore. We were eating silently, until Leo started talking. "I am obviously the sassiest person at this table. Nobody can sass as much as Bad boy supreme". It was true, Leo was incredibly sassy. "I'd beg to differ. I'm obviously too sassy for you." Percy spoke. "How sassy is your sass, Percy?" Oh no. Percy raised his eyebrow. "My sass is so sassy the people with limited amounts of sass are jealous of the sass level that is my sass because they wish their sass was as sassy my sass." Out of nowhere he pulled out some shades and flipped them on. "You just got Persassied" He declared. Leo looked incredulous. Leo turned himself on fire. Jason and Piper, who were sitting on both side of him, scooted a little away from him. "I'm hotter than you. Beg to differ?" Percy smirked. "Yeah, you're hotter than me." Leo smirks. "Because if you're hotter than me, then I'm cooler than you." Suddenly Leo was splashed with Arctic water and he cooled down. Percy gives us his signature smirk, dries all of us (We got splashed with the arctic water too) except Leo, and walks out. We all laugh at Leo.

The other day, I was taking a sword class lesson, (I needed the lesson, Percy's skills were practically perfect, he was taking this for me) and Mr. D was calling roll. "I don't care what your names are, but this is mandatory." He started calling out names. He called me Annie Bell. He purposely forgot Percy's name. "What's your name" he asked. Percy smirks. "My names Persassy Jackson" "Please give me your full name." "Fine, Persassius Jackson." I started cracking up, in fact, half the class did. Mr. D look pretty annoyed. "I won't stand for this." Percy crossed his arms. "Deal. With. It." "That's it, get out of my class." "Yes, with pleasure." "Yes, _sir_." "No need for sir, just call me Persassy." He flashed us all a smirk, and left the class.

 **At school (In New York)**

Teacher: Who knows about Greek Mythology?

Percy: Step aside peasants.

Percy: Greeks, Let's, um, fight stuff!

Reyna: *thinking* Why did we make you praetor again?

 **After the Second War**

 **Zeus** : What do each of you ask?

 **Percy** : I ask for two things, I want the first one right now. May I have it?

 **Zeus** : What is it?

 **Percy:** I wish to say anything to one Olympian without fear of retaliation.

 **Zeus** : Go ahead. *Silently curious*

 **Percy** : *Turns to Hera* Frick you.

 **Annabeth & Jason:** I too, would request the same thing.

Octavian: Hey Percy, how was Tartarus? *Snickers*

Percy: Hey Octavian, better than your face. *snorts*

Dear Logan Lerman,

You can take my name,

You can take my story,

But I will always be sexier than you will ever be.

Sincerely, Persassy Jackson

Reyna at lunch: Everybody pick up one piece of trash before leaving.

Persassy: If I threw Octavian in the trash, that would be abusing all trash.

Monster: I want to kill you

Persassy: Take a number, you'll be the 757575757757575th.

Persassy: *intentionally sneezes*

Athena: Bless you

Persassy: What did you say?

Athena: Bless you

Persassy: Yay! Annabeth will you marry me?

Athena: That's not what I meant

Annabeth: YES!

Persassy: Deal with it.

Percy: *notices Jason is taller than him*

Percy's mind: WHO IS THIS DUDE! THINK'S HE CAN COME AND BE TALLER THAN ME

Percy: Annabeth get me a footstool

 **Hi guys! I'm sorry I'm not updating. I am a horrible person. It takes so long to update things. I'm really sorry. I have a new update coming soon on "Thoughts"…**

 **-Son of Poseidon Out**


	2. Chapter 2

Sassy

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Dear Zeus,

My Perseus is better

than yours.

Love,

Poseidon

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Nico: Guys, let's have code names.

Nico: I'm "Eagle 1"

Nico: Percy is "been there, done that and I regret it every day".

Percy: hey

Nico: Will is "currently doing that"

Nico: Jason is "It happened once in a dream"

Jason: wat

Nico: Leo is "If I had to pick at gunpoint"

Leo: Am I supposed to be offended or…

Nico: Frank is…

Nico: "Eagle 2"

Frank: OH THANK THE GODS

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Jason: There are seven chairs and 10 kids. What do you do?

Percy: Have everyone stand

Frank: Bring three more chairs

Leo: The best seven can sit down

Nico: Kill three.

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How to describe Percy Jackson:

Prophecy: YOU. WILL. DIE.

Percy: Lol no.

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Percy Jackson VS Hercules (or Heracles, however you want. I'm going to use Hercules)

 **Hercules** : I'm a son of the big three.

 **Percy** : Oh yeah, me too.

 **Hercules** : When I was a baby, I strangled two snakes.

 **Percy** : My mom freaked when I did that.

 **Hercules** : I fought the Nemean Lion.

 **Percy** : Me too, I was what, Fourteen?

 **Hercules** : I've fought a hydra.

 **Percy:** Dude, same. I wouldn't have been able to do it without Clarisse, but still.

 **Hercules:** I've hunted down Artemis' sacred deer.

 **Percy** : My friend did that, but chasing deer isn't really my thing.

 **Hercules** : Uhh…. I fought this massive boar once

 **Percy:** I think I fought its girlfriend. A couple of day before I fought Kronos.

 **Hercules:** *Sweats Nervously* I cleaned this stable that hasn't been cleaned for thousands of years.

 **Percy** : I heard a nymph helped you, I used my own powers.

 **Hercules** : I-

 **Percy** : Dude I could go all day.

 **Hercules** : *flustered* I fought Amazons-

 **Percy** : Done that

 **Hercules** : I fought the Minotaur-

 **Percy** : When I was twelve

 **Hercules** : I uh… been... to the Underworld!

 **Percy** : I've been there like, what, 4 times? I'm sick of it.

 **Hercules** : Uhh… I…..

 **Percy** : Are we done here?

 **Hercules** : *triumphant grin* I WAS OFFERED IMMORTALITY

 **Percy** : I turned it down for this girl I liked….

 **Hercules** : *Jumps into Styx*

 **Percy:** *calls out* I did that too!

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Piper: Hey Percy. What's up?

Percy: Nothing much.

Piper: Look at this. *Holds up a phone*

Piper: Leo is building phones that aren't dangerous to demigods

Piper: want to prank Jason?

Percy: I thought this day would never come.

Both: *call Jason*

Jason: *on other end* Hello?

Piper: Is this Jason Grace?

Jason: Yes, why?

Piper: Where do you want the bricks delivered?

Piper and Percy: *Smirking, trying not to laugh*

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: *whispers* behind the Zeus cabin

Piper: *freezes* *cuts phone*

Percy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAhahaHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHH

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Percy: *randomly one night* do fish feel wet?

Annabeth:

Annabeth: I'm trying to sleep!

Percy: Sorry, sorry.

*silence*

Annabeth: OH MY GODS DO THEY!?

Percy: I know right?

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Annabeth trying to teach Percy math:

Annabeth: If you had 10 blue cookies, and Jason asks for 2, how many do you have?

Percy: 10, Jason knows not to ask for my blue cookies.

Annabeth: Ok, what if Jason forcibly takes two? How many do you have?

Percy: 10 and a dead Jason.

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Percy: So, I'm thinking for our wedding, we do something quiet, like in the spring.

Annabeth: We're not even engaged yet.

Percy:

Percy:

Percy: So that's what I forgot to do last night

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Mr. D: Pierre Jackson

Percy: Percy Jackson

Mr. D: Peter Johnson

Me: Percy Jackson

Mr. D: Perry Jonas

Cat: Percy Jackson

Beyoncé: Percy Jackson

Universe: PERCY JACKSON

Mr. D:

Mr. D: Potato Janitor

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Piper: I can speak French

Leo: I can speak Spanish

Jason: I can speak Latin

Frank: I can speak Chinese

Percy:….

Percy: I can speak horse. And fish too.

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Person: I'm a big fan of the Percy Jackson movies

Me: Dishonor!

Me: Dishonor on you!

Me: Dishonor on your family!

Me: Dishonor on your cow!

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Zeus to Thalia: I guess you can live

Athena to Annabeth: You have failed me

Hermes to Luke:

Hades to Nico: I liked your sister better

Poseidon to Percy: YOO MAH MAIN MAN HOW ARE THINGS WITH THE WHOLE SAVING THE WORLD THING HAPPY BIRTHDAY BTW SOME SERIOUS STUFF IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN SO BRACE YOURSELF HAHA OK TTYL BYEEEEEEE

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How it actually goes

Gaea: ew giants

Giants: ew titans

Titans: ew gods

Gods: ew demigods

Demigods: ew mortals

Mortals: Whut?

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Percy after the last Olympian:

Oh, I survived. I love it when I do that

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*Taylor Swift's 'shake it off" starts to play*

Jason: Will I have something to say say say

Jason: Nico Di Angelo is gay gay gay

Jason: How much longer you going to wait wait wait

Jason: Until you ask him out

Apollo: Ask him out

*High five and fly off*

Will: *stands there trying to process what just happened*

Will:

Will: NICO

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 **Leo:** Oh, you have no idea of how much of a third wheel I was on my quest with Jason and Piper

 **Percy** : Everybody knew Frank and Hazel liked each other, it was so obvious. I was a bigger third wheel on my quest.

 **Grover:**

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Percy: *walks up to an employee*

Percy: hi, the sea lion doesn't like you….

Employee: um…I…

Percy: He hates it here

Employee: sir, I do-

Percy: HE WANTS TO BE FREE

*calls security*

Percy:*While getting dragged* YOU MAKE ME SICK

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Clarisse: You're really campaigning for jerk of the year aren't you?

Percy: As defending champion, are you nervous?

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Annabeth: Hey Percy, want to watch the football game?

Percy: Sure, who's playing?

Annabeth: the titans and the giants

Percy:

Annabeth:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Percy: I hate football.

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Someone: I can't wait for Percy Jackson 2! The first movie was so accurate, and it's a shame they died Annabeth's hair though. I liked it better brown.

Me: I've met bread smarter than you.

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 **That's it for today! Next chapter will be different, but will still be funny. I hope you enjoyed the sass!**

 **-Out**


	3. Chapter 3

Worst fear?

Jason: I say bricks

Annabeth: *shivers* Spiders

Piper: Love

Frank: fire

Leo: Annabeth

Hazel: My curse

Percy: Red

Annabeth: Seaweed brain, you are truly one of a kind

Percy: You underestimate its powers.

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Percy: Are your eyes the ocean? Because I'm drowning in them.

Annabeth: you're the son of Poseidon

Percy: Shut up I'm trying.

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Favorite sports?

Annabeth: Maybe softball

Leo: FOOTBALL!

Frank: Hockey, only because I'm Canadian

Jason: Baseball all the way!

Piper: more of a soccer person…

Hazel: I don't watch sports…

Percy: Synchronized swimming

Everybody:….

Percy: What?

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Camp Jupiter: Line up with you armor and stand straight. You will only speak when spoken too and will be briefed by our two fearless leaders. You will stay standing until said otherwise. Any disobedience will result in getting sown into a sack of angry weasels

Camp Half-Blood: Hey guys let's sit around a ping-pong table and eat cheese snacks while we wait for 12 year olds to come up with a plan to save us. We can eat juice boxes and play charades while we wait.

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Annabeth: *reads divergent*

Annabeth: *starts categorizing people into factions*

Annabeth: *finds difficulty, realizes everybody is Divergent*

Annabeth: *Finds exception- Octavian, who is factionless*

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Percy: I SAVED THE WORLD TWICE. I HELD UP THE SKY. I'M RESPONSIBLE NOW. I AM 18.

Sally: I don't care, eat your vegetables or no candies for a month

Percy: You wouldn't dare….

Sally: *raises eyebrow*

*stare off, sally wins*

Paul: ….

Paul: so how's Annabeth?

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Percy: Annabeth, WATER you doing?

Annabeth: Oh no…

Percy: Did you SEA what I did there?

Annabeth: Why me?

Percy: I'm SHORE you did…

Annabeth: Please stop…

Percy: WHALE then, I DOLPHINATELY will.

Annabeth: …

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Percy: It sure is ….muggy…today

Annabeth: Percy, if I go out and find all our mugs on the lawn, I will strangle you.

Percy: *sips coffee from a bowl*

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Tell me if you can relate-

How to make me cry in 4 words: "family, Luke. You promised"

How to make me cry in 6 words: "For once, I didn't look back"

How to make me cry in 7 words: "Not getting away from you. Never again"

How to make me cry in 12 words: "I'm coming back for you, Calypso. I swear it on the Styx."

How to make me cry in 3 words: "Percy Jackson movies"

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Zoe, have you seen any dam snack bars in Elysium?

Percy: Yeah Zoe, have you?

Zoe: I still don't understand you, you dam deformed acorn!

Percy: I'm not a dam deformed acorn!

Grover: I want those dam fries

Thalia: and I need to use the dam restroom

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Rick Riordan: Let's make up a character named….Leo

Me: Ok!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him the son of Hephaestus

Me: Okay!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him hilarious

Me: Great!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him sensitive

Me: Ok!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him a great person

Me: Ok!

Rick Riordan: Let's have his mother die.

Me: O-Wait, what?!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him the seventh wheel.

Me: NO!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him feel horrible, horrible, emotional pain.

Me: STOP IT! NO!

Rick Riordan: Let's make him single and lonely

Me: NOOOOOO. ERASE THAT. NOOOO

Rick Riordan: Let's make him think everything's his fault.

Me: *throws self into Tartarus, crying*

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Random quote from Percy Jackson:

"I'm fine!" Percy yelled as he ran by, followed by a giant screaming bloody murder.

Random quote of the day

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Can you find the "Octavian"?

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Favorite candy bar?

Frank: Hmm….

Percy: *giggles*

Piper: what's that about?

Frank: I'll say…

Percy: *giggles harder*

Annabeth: *sighs* anything you want to say seaweed brain?

Percy: Wouldn't Frank's favorite candy be MARS BARS

Leo: *slow claps*

Jason: Every. Time.

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Leo's opinions on dying:

Leo: I don't always die, but when I do, I don't.

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Kiss the hottest person in the room

Percy: Kisses Annabeth

Piper: Kisses Jason

Frank: kisses Hazel

Leo: ….

Leo: *Kisses mirror*

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Aphrodite: Every girl has her prince charming

Annabeth: No, I have my king who treats me like the queen I am.

*Annabeth and Percy high five*

Will: Nico why can't we be like that

Nico: Because you're a peasant

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Nico: *lands in Ogygia*

Calypso: Hi…

Nico: I'm gay *walks away

*later that evening*

Calypso: and he had the most beautiful sea-green eyes…

Nico: I know right?!

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Percy: What does he mean I'm not his type?

Annabeth: it doesn't matter

Percy: but seriously how am I NOT his type

Annabeth: Percy-

Percy: first the fish people didn't want to meet me, and now THIS

Annabeth: PERCY WE ARE DATING

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Nico: I wasn't hurt that badly

Will: really? What did the mortal doctor say?

Nico: That the bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is.

Will *muffled screaming*

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If you could throw one person off the Argo 2, who'd it be?

Leo: OH OH OH, I know this one, Frank.

Frank: you know I could just turn into a bird and fly off right?

Leo: you mean you'd let me go through the trouble of throwing you and you don't even have the decency to hit the pavement?

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Aphrodite: have you fallen in love yet?

Leo: unfortunately, my one true love remains myself.

Aphrodite: At least you don't get rejected.

Leo: Not, necessarily, I often turn myself down to make it interesting.

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Leo: *taking test*

Leo: *circles yes*

Test: *if yes, explain why*

Leo: *erases answer*

Leo: *circles no*

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The fourth of July

Nico: Ah, America. I can taste the freedom and democracy.

Will: Nico, you're freaking Italian

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 **Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I am running out of ideas, so I've decided that you guys should pitch in, tell me anything you wish for me to add in the next chapter, and if you want me to recognize you. Thanks for reading, I'm sorry for the short chapters, I spent 2 hours on this.**

 **-out**


	4. Chapter 4

Friend: I just read a Percy Jackson book!

Me: Great, which one?

Friend: The one where he almost dies.

Me: …

Friend: …

Me: …

Friend: there was some kind of a monster

Me: could you…

Me: could you be more specific?...

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Jason: Is there a word that is a mix between angry and sad?

Annabeth: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.

Percy: Smad.

Leo: there are two kinds of people in this world

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Nico: my boyfriend's a doctor

Annabeth: my boyfriend's a hyperactive dolphin

Percy: What? You're cheating on me?

Annabeth: A stupid hyperactive dolphin apparently

Percy: …

Percy: I still want to meet him

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Sally: If Annabeth jumps off a cliff, would you too?

Percy:

Sally:

Percy: *opens eyes slowly*

Sally:

Percy: funny story

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Percy: I don't like your name

Annabeth: *angry* excuse me?

Percy: Particularly your last name, it sucks. You should change it

Annabeth: *furious* really? What should I change it to?

Percy: Jackson. *walks away*

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Starbucks employee: How'd you like your coffee?

Nico: I like my coffee how I like my women.

Employee: …Hot? Sweet?

Nico: I don't like coffee, I want cake

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Percy: I can either bake these cookies for 400 degrees for 10 minutes, or 4,000 degrees for one minute

Jason: Percy, that's not how it works

Percy: FLOOR IT!

Jason: Percy No.

Percy: How about 400,000,000 degrees for one second?

Jason: PERCY YOU WILL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.

Percy: I'm going to harness the power of the freaking sun for these cookies.

Jason: Y!

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Favorite books:

Annabeth: Harry Potter

Jason: I don't really have time for reading

Annabeth: WHAT?! No reading?

Jason: My time was spent up fighting monsters

Piper: I like Divergent

Hazel: I like the classics….

Frank: I read the Wolf Brother books…

Leo: I can't read very well, so I choose not too.

Percy: I really like "One fish two fish, red fish blue fish"

Everybody: …

Percy: What?

Leo: Percabeth is an ironic thing….

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Annabeth; Leo or Frank?

Annabeth: Percy

Leo: Annabeth, that's not a choice

Annabeth: Percy

Frank: Annabeth, would you date me or Leo?

Annabeth: Percy

Frank: Percy, you've trained her well

Percy: Yes I have

Annabeth: Percy

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Percy: *gets kicked out of 6 different schools*

Percy: …

Percy: I swear I'm a good kid

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Annabeth: Did you tell anybody we're engaged

Percy: Yes, I have no self-control and I told the street vendor we're engaged

Annabeth: Ok, no need to be sarcastic about it

Percy: No, I seriously did. I have no self-control.

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*at the big 3 table*

Jason: I feel like these glasses ruin my facial structure

Percy: Nah, bro your face is fine

Jason: You sure bro

Percy: totally bro

Jason: but it isn't as amazing as you face bro

Percy: No one's face is as nice as yours

Nico: …

Nico: I am literally the straightest person here

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Percy: You believer in Egyptian gods?

Kane: Yeah I do.

Percy: that's stupid.

Kane: What do you believe in then?

Percy: There are several jerks in the sky who always want my help

()()()()()()()

Percy: The stars are beautiful tonight

Rachel: yeah

Percy: you know who else is beautiful?

Rachel: *blushes* who?

Percy: Annabeth.

()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Wait, so when it involves pizzas, you can do anything?

Piper: Really? What's 19,154 pizzas divided by 61 pizzas?

Percy: 314 pizzas

Piper: and salads?

Percy: Carry the four- it doesn't work

()()()()()()()

Percy: Hey

Percy: this has nothing to do with the raging storm outside

Percy: but if you're wondering whether Zeus likes to be called Big Z or not

Percy: it's a no

Annabeth: Percy!

()()()()()()()

Today's genre: sad….

Today's quote:

"Bob says hello"

()()()()()()()

Percy: I would be 100% ok with being a tree

Annabeth: Thalia wouldn't

Percy: don't you mean Thalia woodn't?

Annabeth: Percy you've lost it.

Percy: I lost it a long time ago

()()()()()()()

Piper: *introducing new demigod to camp*

Piper: Over there is my cabin, and there is the big house

Demigod: Who are they?

Piper: That's Percy and Jason, the two big-shots

Percy: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE PIPER

Piper: What did you do?

Leo: *runs from forest, hands flaming* Come back here NOW

Jason: we may have

Percy: sort of possibly

Jason: set fire

Percy: to his cabin

Leo: I WILL KILL YOU *starts throwing flame balls*

Demigod:

Demigod:

Demigod:

Demigod:

Demigod: is this normal?

Piper: You should have seen the time Frank and Leo set fire to the Athena cabin

Piper: Annabeth almost killed them

Demigod: …

Piper: and over there is amphitheater

()()()()()()()

Nico: I just want to cuddle with Will 23/7

Jason: why not 24/7?

Nico: snack breaks

()()()()()()()

Boyfriends:

Nico: He is like the sun, he is always there

Hazel: He is like a transformer, he is always exactly what I want

Piper: He is like lightning. He is impressive and always lights up his surroundings

Annabeth: …

Annabeth: He is like a horse. Nobody understands what he says, but when they do, it is just nonsense.

()()()()()()()

Annabeth and olives?

Annabeth: I can talk to them. They usually just compliment me. They are terrible flirts.

Percy: You get hit on by olives?

Annabeth: Yes but-

Percy: come on, Hedge, let's go make some olive oil

()()()()()()()

Piper: is Annabeth always like this when she loses?

Percy: You should've seen the great Jenga tantrum of 2008

Annabeth: YOU BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT

()()()()()()()

Question to readers: (I'm curious)

Who do you ship with Jason? :

Piper

Nobody

Brick

Annabeth

I've just seen a lot of different ships. I still like Piper and Jason.

()()()()()()()

To gods and goddesses, deepest secret:

Zeus: *sweating* I like powerpuff girls

Hera: You like Blossom best, right Zuzu?

Demeter: *mental breakdown* I once ate a burger!

Artemis: A GUY ONCE KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK

Everybody: gasps

Hades: I'm a drag queen

Olympians:

Giants:

Titans:

Chaos:

Mortals:

Halfbloods:

Poseidon: Me too

()()()()()()()

Hera: You're so ugly

Hephaestus: Like mother like son

Everybody in the multiverse: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

()()()()()()()

Leo: Remember that time when you dared me to lick the swingset?

Piper: No, I said Leo don't lick the swingset, and you said Don't tell me what to do Mclean, and then licked the swingset.

()()()()()()()

Jason: you're smiling. Did something good happen?

Nico: Can't I just smile?

Will: Percy tripped over nothing and fell in the parking lot.

()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Ugh I'm so ugly

Percy: Ugh I'm so pregnant

Annabeth: what did you just say?

Percy: Oh sorry I thought we were stating the impossible

()()()()()()()

Annabeth: How to kill a spider: Get tissue paper, approach spider slowly, burn house down

()()()()()()()

Chiron: Electronics help us get found, so no devices

Camper: what about the shirts

Chiron: let's make them BRIGHT ORANGE

()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Percy stay there, we're coming to you

Percy: what if I want to travel

Annabeth: PERCY stay there. I am coming

Percy: Alaska seems nice this time of year

Annabeth: STAY RIGHT THERE

Percy: Hazel, Frank, let's go to Alaska!

()()()()()()()

Nico: *loses Will in a crowd*

Nico: I won't eat anything today

Will: *runs to the front*

Will: OH NO YOU DON'T

()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Loses Percy in a crowd

Annabeth: drastic measures I suppose

Annabeth: drops dagger in nearest water source

*huge tidal wave*

Percy: You dropped this

()()()()()()()

Percy: *loses Annabeth*

Percy: who knows what 90 times 34 times 87 is?

Annabeth: 2266220, obviously

Leo: Holy…

Percy: there she is

()()()()()()()

Percy: *loses Octavion in a crowd*

Percy:

Percy:

Annabeth: Aren't you going to

Percy: No

()()()()()()()

 **Well guys that is all for today. Sorry for it being short and maybe not funny.**


	5. Chapter 5

(Here are a couple of jokes that were shared to me. These were all great, I've barely edited them, and I recognized them. If that was not wanted, just tell me, and I will take them off. These were all amazing and I just wanted people to come up with more of these)

To all: Funniest joke?  
Percy: WATER you doing?  
Jason: Oh my gods Percy don't-  
Percy: Did you SEA what I did there?  
Jason: Everybody's already used those puns  
Percy: What are you talking ABOAT?  
Jason: Here it comes-  
Poseidon: *bursts in* SON OH MY NEHOY MEHOY THOSE PUNS WERE PURE GOLD  
Percy: AYEEE  
Poseidon: AYEEE  
Jason: I will never understand their relationship  
Percy: Probably because your papa don't love you  
Jason:  
Percy:  
Jason:  
Percy:  
Jason: Did he just-  
Poseidon: *pats Jason* It's ok, young one  
Poseidon: Good dog  
Poseidon: Here have some money

The underworld during spring and summer:  
Hades: ALL THE SINGLE HADES

Hades: ALL THE SINGLE HADES

Hades: ALL THE SINGLE HADES

Hades: NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

By: Guest

(

Ares: Nah man I can beat you any day  
Percy: *sips blue coke*  
Ares: Ok imma kill you now?  
Percy: *eats blue pancakes*  
Ares: *takes out shotgun* really man?  
Percy: *snaps fingers* I can make NARWALS stab you brah that's a shotgun whatchu gonna do?

INSIDE THE LIFE OF CHB  
Chiron: Hey let's check out the Oracle.  
Percy: 'sup Oracle  
Oracle: Hey check out these new song lyrics I've been trying to get you to hear!  
Chiron&Percy: GAH ERMIGERD ITS ANOTHER QUEST  
Oracle: *srsly again you guys*

Octavian: *sees Percabeth* it makes me smile when two ugly people find love.  
Percy: who's the lucky girl?

Athena: hi I'm your son's love's mom.  
Paul: hi your son's love's mom, I'm dad.  
Athena: *turns to Annabeth* i am very disappointed in you.

Percy: WHAT THE GODS ARE REAL!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MYTHS!  
Poseidon: Well my son you were myth-taken.  
Zeus: *facepalms*

Poseidon: *grows beard* Athena look at my beard  
check it out  
im so sassy  
Athena look at it  
fear the beard  
my beard can't lie to u.  
Athena: like father like son

(The following was by Drrrraco Malfoy Potter)

Percy-hey guys! Wanna play hide and seek?!  
Octavian-sure  
Percy- 1...2...3...  
Jason-*Flies away*  
Nico-*Shadow- travels*  
Frank-*turns into a bug*  
Octavian-*hides behind a skinny tree*

(By Seasidebible)

(Now this was all that was shared to me, and I wanted to encourage you guys to share more. Since this was a pretty short chapter, I'll add more to it)

Jason: psst Piper

Jason: Piper wake up

Piper: uh? What? Jason?

Jason: Piper, guess what Will and Nico just did, they kissed it was so CUTE

Piper: Jason its 3 in the morning- wait how do you know this?

Jason: nEVERMIND

Piper: Jason-

Jason: IT'S ALL A DREAM

Piper: Did you put in more cameras?

Jason: Piper there were no cameras involved I swear

Piper: Oh ok that's-

Jason: I was watching from the window, obviously

Piper: jASON

(

Jason: Cuz baby I can build a castle

Piper: Jason no

Jason: Out of all the bricks they threw at me

(

Nico: I AM OLDER THAN ALL….

Jason: *uses Nico's head as armrest*

Jason: Why are you so short for somebody who's older than us all?

Nico: *furious*

(

Little kid: Why do we have earthquakes?

Man: That's because there ar-

Percy: my dad doesn't always have the best self-control

(

Jason: *playing against Percy in capture the flag. He has his own team, Percy leads his own.*

Jason: Legion! Gladium Stringe! Parati—Oppugnare!

Campers: …

Jason: Oh um, attack them with swords.

*meanwhile with Percy*

Percy: *turns to his team*

Percy: …

Percy: SWORDSSSSS

Percy's team: *war cry* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(

Nico: Hazel can you help me with something?

Hazel: *unties apron* sure. *yells* Frank can you take care of the kid

Nico: thanks-wait you had a kid?!

Frank: *from far away* Yeah sure

Hazel: no, Percy's staying over.


	6. Chapter 6

Zeus: Percy, I would like to offer you a place among the Olympians.

Percy: Fine.

Zeus: Really?

Percy: Frick no, you guys are retarded.

()()()()()()()

Percy: knock knock

Frank: Who's there?

Percy: Who.

Frank: Who, who?

Percy: Oh no Frank, don't tell me you've turned into an owl again?

Annabeth: *facepalm*

()()()()()()()()()

Percy: *shows off superior fighting skills*

Annabeth: That's cool Percy, but can you do this? *puts on invisibility camp and disappears*

Percy: Yeah, sure.

Percy: *disappears for 8 months*

()()()()()()()()()()

Today's quote of the day: (I know I don't update daily and so this isn't really valid, but whatever, peoples. And these aren't really quotes, but again, this is just meant to be a place to show that Rick Riordan has created Sass, and that I don't just make it up)

"Did you…did you bathe in the River Styx?"

"Don't change the subject"

"Percy! Did you or did you not?"

"Um…maybe a little."

That was today's quote, even though I published this a bit late.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Nico: Hey Percy you want to do a dangerous thing that will get you killed?

Percy: sure.

Nico: On second thought don't do it.

Achilles: don't do it man.

Percy:

Percy:

Percy:

Percy: YOLO

Annabeth: You freaking did it didn't you.

Percy:

Percy: maybe

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: *parents met at beach*

Percy: *father lost at sea*

Percy: *splashing bullies with water since before he was a demigod*

Percy: *blows up bathroom*

Percy: *best at canoeing*

Percy: *scent of ocean*

Percy:

Percy: Now who could my daddy be dat is the question.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(()())

Theseus: *kills the minotaur*

Jason: *Carries a goddess*

Achilles: *takes a dip in the Styx*

Perseus: *slices Medusa's head*

Hercules: *cleans Geryon's stables*

Jason: *retrieves golden fleece*

Atlas: *holds up the sky*

Percy: ….

Percy: …..

Percy: WHO THE REAL MVP NOW?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sally: *walks into bathroom*

Sally: Percy, did you but blue food coloring into the water again?

Sally: Stop turning the water on and off

Sally: How did you manage to get cookie crumbs in your hair?

Sally: You have to let yourself get wet to be clean

Sally: Now, stay clean for a while now

Percy: *runs outside, trips face-first into mud*

Sally: Well, that was nice while it lasted

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: OMG ANNABETH MY NAME HAS JASON'S IN IT!

Annabeth: What?

Percy: SEE, JACKSON, without the 'ck' is JASON.

Annabeth: *face palm*

Percy: I'M GOING TO GO TELL HIM RIGHT NOW

Annabeth: *grabs Percy's shirt* PERCY IT IS 2 AM JASON IS SLEEPING JUST LIKE I SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW.

Percy: *sighs* ok…

Jason: *burst down door*

Jason: PERCY YOUR NAME HAS MINE IN IT.

Percy: I KNOW RIGHT

Piper: *runs in breathing heavily* Sorry Annabeth, tried to stop him.

Annabeth: Come on let's go you your place Pipes  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Comparison:

Dark side of Percy Jackson:

He didn't want to stop. He wanted to choke this goddess. He wanted to watch her drown in her own poison. He wanted to see just how much misery could take.

Dark side of Nico Di Angelo:

"Please" The word made no sense to Nico. The underworld had no mercy. It only had justice.

Dark side of Jason Grace:

"Incredible", Jason said. "These are really good brownies".

"That's your only comment?" Piper demanded.

"What? I heard the story. Fish-centaurs, merpeople, letter of intro to the Tiber river god. Got it. But these brownies-" "I know" Frank said, with his mouth fall. "Try them with Esther's peach preserves"

"That" Hazel said, "Is incredibly disgusting"

"Pass me the jar man" Jason said, with a mouth full of brownies.

Moral: THERE IS NO DARK JASON

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Leo: I'm coming for you Calypso, I swear it on the Styx

Fandom: *sobs uncontrollably* OMG THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL. I THINK I'M TEARING UP. *CRIES BUCKETS*

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(()

Again, so sorry for the short chapter. I was told that, 50% of my jokes weren't even about Percy, while then entire thing of this, is Persassy. I tried to incorporate more Persassy in this chapter, and I will update soon. I hope. Bye for now, and review!


	7. Chapter 7

Riordan's heroes:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: 12-16

Heroes of Olympus: 13-17

Kane Chronicles: 12-14

Magnus Chase: 16

The trials of Apollo: roughly 2700

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: I'm quick at math.

Annabeth: Ok, what's 38 divided by 76?

Percy: 76.

Annabeth: That's not even close.

Percy: But it was quick.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

*Percabeth getting arrested*

Policeman: What are your names?

Percy: Don't tell him Annabeth.

Policeman: *writes down* Annabeth…

Annabeth: Nice going, Percy!

Policeman: *writes down* Percy.

Annabeth & Percy: Frick.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: There's a feast for tuna?

Percy: so house gods are like…smaller than real gods, but bigger than apartment gods?

Percy: Jason looks like a blond superman

Percy: the exchange involved a lot of yelling, death-threats, and high-velocity pineapples.

Percy: Oh no! Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!

Percy: forget the chicken nugget smokescreen

Also Percy: *basically choking the misery goddess*

Also Percy: *destroys a fury at 12*

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: *takes a deep breath*

Percy: I lo-

Annabeth: Yeah, I know, you love blue. That's all that you love. You just obsess on a color, blue. You just really, really, love blue. I GET IT. YOU LIKE BLUE

Percy: -ve you.

Annabeth: what?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Piper: ok, let's go over the plan one more time. If one of us dies, what do we do?

Annabeth: Use strategic to-

Percy: locate the corpse and move the body so it looks like they're dabbing.

Piper: exactly.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy: That's one of my biggest fears.

Jason: What is?

Percy: If I ever woke up one morning as a donut-

Jason: You would eat yourself

Percy: I wouldn't even question it.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Reyna: What did I tell you about comparing Octavian to the devil?

Percy: That's its offensive to the devil?

Reyna: *face palm*

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I may have repeated some now, but I don't care anymore :)

Reyna: Legion, cuneum formate! Advance!

Legions: *marches forward in orderly fashion*

Percy: Greeks, let's um….

Percy: Fight stuff!

Camp Half-blood: *runs forward yelling:* AHHHHHHH

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Twilight fan*: Are you team Jacob?

Me: No.

Twilight fan: Oh, so you're a team Edward?

Me: No.

Twilight fan: *puzzled* Then what team-

Me: Team Leo.

Twilight fan: But that's not eve-

Me: Team Leo.

Twilight fan: But-

Me: I said, Team Leo. Just accept it and move on. *walks away*

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

If you don't feel this way, then just don't mind this.

Dear Rick,

We are prepared to sacrifice Octavion in order to ensure the seven's safety.

Love,

Fans.

()()()()()()()()()()()

Leo: Can make fire out of thin air

Jason: Can make lightning and fly

Piper: Can charmspeak

Frank: Can turn into an animal on command

Hazel: Can bring jewels out of the ground.

Percy: Can breathe underwater, control water, control things other than water.

Annabeth: I can think….wow…thanks Athena.

*note: This wasn't meant to degrade Annabeth.*

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Percy….

Percy: *trying to look innocent* Yes?

Annabeth: It's like the end of the world outside. You made Zeus mad didn't you?

Percy: That doesn't sound like me.

Annabeth: Percy.

Percy: I may have given him a new nickname.

Annabeth:

Percy: I may have started calling him…

Percy: GREECED LIGHTNING

Annabeth: Oh my Gods Percy.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Calypso: Hey, Leo. Is Aiden ok? I'll be there soon.

Leo: Yeah, I just fed and burned him.

Calypso: LEOO!

Leo: BURPED. I MEANT BURPED I SWEAR.

Leo: It doesn't matter though he's fire proof like his dad.

Calypso: HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? LEO…..

Leo: um….

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Percy, 4 chapters in: kills a Minotaur at age 12 and with no training.

Magnus Chase, 7 chapters in: dies.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Leo: This date is boring.

Calypso: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Leo: Then why did you invite me?

Calypso: I specifically said "Don't come with me" and you said "I do whatever I want" and followed me here.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Chiron: Why is everybody from the Athena cabin camping outside?

Annabeth: The fresh air helps us think

Chiron: There's a spider isn't there.

All of the cabin:*nods*.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The difference:

Percy: Throughout all of the books, somehow stays alive after all of the hardship.

Magnus: Dies in first book.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Ok, so I haven't read Magnus Chase, but everybody is saying it's amazing. Should I?


	8. Chapter 8

Gaea: I will destroy you

Percy: ok

Gaea: I will destroy everything you love

Percy: no problem

Gaea: I will destroy everyone you love

Percy: good luck with that

Gaea: I will destroy blue food

Percy: NOW YOU HAVE CROSSED A LINE

()()()()()()()

Leo: I put the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia'

Calypso: …

Leo: wait.

()()()()()()()()

Dionysus: Oh here's Perry Jonas

Percy: you know that's now my name

Dionysus: I don't care, potato janitor

Dionysus: Oh here's Annabel Casserole

Annabeth: *sighs*

Dionysus: Oh Hi Jerome Gondor

Jason: wat

Dionysus: You're with Penelope McAllister and Louis Venezuela, right?

Piper: Excu-

Leo: Oh man

Nico: *shadow travels*

Nico: oh hi Mr. D

Dionysus: Oh hi Nico

The 7:

Percy: excUSE ME.

()()()()()()

Jason: Percy am I your hottest friend?

Percy: no that's Leo

Jason: am I your smartest friend?

Percy: Annabeth's already there

Jason: Your toughest friend?

Percy: Reyna

Jason: Nicest friend?

Percy: that's Hazel

Jason: Am…I…..Your….friend?

Percy: I'll think about it

()()()()()()()

Percy: Annabeth wanna hear a joke?

Annabeth: Sure I guess

Percy: how do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Annabeth: you would shrink the elephant using the chemicals…and then put it in the fridge

Percy: no, you just open the door and put the elephant in.

Annabeth: the elephant wouldn't fit

Percy: how do you know that? I never said it had to be a regular sized fridge.

Annabeth: ….

Percy: ok then, how would you put a giraffe in a fridge?

Annabeth: You open the door and put the giraffe in.

Percy: No

Annabeth: how?

Percy: You'd have to take the elephant out first, and then put in the giraffe

Annabeth: Percy this is complete nonsense

Percy: no it isn't. Here I'll try a different type of joke

Annabeth: fine

Percy: The king of the jungle called a meeting. All the animals except one came. Which one didn't come?

Annabeth: the fish because they can't come out

Percy: No

Annabeth: now you're wrong. I'm right

Percy: The only animal that didn't come is the giraffe because the giraffe was stuck in the fridge because no one let it out

Annabeth: Percy I'm going to leave now

Percy: NO WAIT. Please? *puppy dog eyes*

Annabeth: fine *sighs*

Percy: As the giraffe is now going to the meeting, it came across a lake filled with alligators. How will it get across?

Annabeth: Alligators don't live in the jungle.

Percy: pretend they do

Annabeth: this is stupid

Percy: Annabeth! Just do it.

Annabeth: *huffs* it will walk along the sides

Percy: nope *absolutely giddy*

Annabeth: then what?

Percy: it goes across the lake, because all the alligators are at the meeting

Annabeth: *face palm*

Percy: Annabeth, you must be stupid. These were the easiest questions ever

Annabeth: these were nonsense-

Percy: tsk, tsk, tsk, and I thought-

Annabeth: Shut. Up.

()()()()()()()()

Camp Jupiter: We have an army, start cowering in fear.

Camp Half-Blood: We have a Clarisse.

Camp Jupiter: BACK OUT NOW. THEY HAS A CLARISSE. I REPEAT BACK OUT NOW. STEP AWAY AND LEAVE THEM ALONE.

()()()()()()()()()

Chiron: Annabeth, Percy is missing. Can you find him?

Annabeth: Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something.

Chiron: do you?

Annabeth: Yeah I do. Here hold on

()()()()()()()()

Annabeth: I only want one slice

Percy: me too, pizza is very fattening

Annabeth: ….Percy that's two. You just stacked them on top of each other.

Percy: Shhh….not when you eat it like this.

Percy: the body doesn't know

()()()()()()()()

Piper: Are you upset that you don't get to be on the same team as Annabeth for capture the flag, Percy?

Percy: Have you ever played a game with Annabeth?

Piper: no.

Percy: Have you ever gone into a steel cage with a wolverine

Annabeth: *yelling at Leo* FASTER, FASTER, FASTER. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD FASTER MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Mr. D: Perry Jackson did what?

Will: I wouldn't let Percy see Annabeth as she was still resting from last night, and I told him he couldn't stay unless he was injured, so he punched himself in the face and told me he was injured.

Chiron: …

Chiron: you have to admire his dedication

()()()()()()()()()

Nico: You know Will, I'm jealous of you

Will: Hmm, why?

Nico: Your boyfriend is SO much better than mine

Will: oh

Nico: *walks away with smirk*

Will: …

Will: did you just-

Will: Come back here you piece of-

)()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Excuse me, sir. I've lost someone

Employee: Well, how old is he

Annabeth: 17

Employee: I'm sure he can manage himself

Annabeth: You don't know him like I do. He can't.

()()()()()()()()

Annabeth: Bob has 36 ice cream cones. He eats 34. How many does he have left?

Percy: He should've eaten cookies. Blue cookies.

Annabeth: Percy!

Percy: fine.

Annabeth: *looks expectantly*

Percy: repeat the question, please?

Annabeth: *rolls eyes* Bob has 36 ice cream cones. He eats 34. What does he have now?

Percy: *smiles widely* I know the answer

Annabeth: what is it?

Percy: Diabetes, Bob has diabetes.

()()()()()()()()()

Clarisse: If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee

Percy: If you were my wife, I'd drink it!

)()()()()()()(

 **The less ideas you guys give me, the longer it takes me to come with a chapter, and the shorter the chapter will be. Sorry once again!**


End file.
